October 2018

It’s fun to dress up at Halloween and pretend to be someone that we’re not! But in our everyday and professional lives, it’s important to take off the masks and acknowledge who we really are and what we really want.

Understanding yourself is a powerful lever. Before you can lead and manage other people effectively, you need to be able to manage yourself. Acknowledge reality. Be honest with yourself and decide to learn the truth.

Understand your own values, beliefs, attitudes and perceptions.
The lens through which you view the world determines your reality and drives your behaviour. We don’t even realize how much we’re shaped by our experiences, and we forget that we don’t all view the world the same way.

When you understand yourself, you’ll better understand why you respond to people, events and things the way you do. You’ll start to recognize when your judgment is being clouded by your biases, or when your behaviour is being driven by emotion. You’ll become more aware of your reactions so that you can adjust your behaviour and make better decisions.

Decide what you really want.
Not what you think you ‘should’ or ‘ought to’ want, or what you think your friends, family, partner, or parents expect from you. Or even what you ‘expect’ from yourself. What do you truly want? Take some time to answer this question — it’s that important.

Knowing your own priorities puts you in the driver’s seat so you are running your life, and your life is not running you. You have a basis for prioritizing and assessing how you spend your time. Does this take me closer to my goals? What value does this provide to me? Does my current work-life balance give me what I want?

Tony Robbins contrasted the science of fulfillment with the art of achievement. He said we often set goals to achieve certain things, but once we’ve reached those goals we’re still not happy. What we really want is to achieve a state or feeling. That’s what brings fulfillment.

For example, I’ve always said I want to own a cottage by the lake. But do I really want a cottage, or do I want to be able to spend a few weeks in the summer on the water with my family enjoying time together? If the latter, there are many more ways to achieve that goal without buying a cottage.

Make a commitment to own the goal.
Write down the goal. Look at it every day. Acknowledge the reality of what will be necessary to achieve the goal and the value that it will provide to you.

Even if at this stage you don’t have a clue how to get there, drive and determination to succeed will overcome many obstacles and roadblocks. When you’re focused on a goal and committed to it, you start to notice opportunities you hadn’t seen before. You start to change things little by little to align with your goal. What can I put in place now that will help me get what I want later?

Take off your mask.
Acknowledge who you are and what you really want. It’s not always easy, and can take some time, but there’s a huge sense of relief that comes from finally taking off the mask. You’ll have less stress and internal dissonance.

So take that first action. One step at a time. And you’ll be well on your way to leading yourself – and others – more effectively!

Find out more by reading BETTER: Elevate Your Thinking and Lead for Success.